Edna-isms, Forty-five

1) Laugh, Clown!  Mom would say this to us when she did something unintentionally that made us laugh--something the equivalent of a slip and fall or of dropping something on the floor.  It meant that we were laughing at her now but we had done similar oopsies ourselves.
2) Destructions.  A joke word for instructions.
3) Cold as Christmas or cold as Klondike.  Just what they sound like.
4) Undressed blues.  This meant someone was in their undies, such as when someone might knock on Mom's bedroom door and Mom would reply : "I'm in my undressed blues."
5) Let's get crackin'!  Meaning: let's get to work or go on errands or whatever.
6) They're not giving it away.  This meant something was expensive.
7) Owling around.  This meant someone was staying up late at night doing something.
8) Pu-firm.  A joke word for perfume.
9) If I were half the girl I think I am. Mom might say:  "If I were half the girl I think I am, I would [do some good thing].  This usually meant she thought of it but wasn't going to do it.
10) By hook or by crook (or by hook or crook).  A common idiom.  It means you're going to do something no matter what.
11) I want to do this like I want warts.  It means what it sounds like it means.
12) Back/Off to the salt mines.  This meant back to work or off to work--usually some job that someone didn't want to do.
13) Like a sore heel or worse than a sore heel.  This was said in regard to a person who was a pest, like a whiny child.
14) No matter what else keeps. "I have to pay my taxes today no matter what else keeps!"  It was a job that absolutely had to be done.
15) Old Sober Sides.  This was a name for a family member who seemed serious or in a bad mood.  "Come here, Old Sober Sides, and eat some dinner."
16) One good deed deserves another.  This could be used just like it sounds or it could be used sarcastically.
17) Smells like a house afire!  Something stinks.
18) A call to arms.  This means a call to take up arms in an attack and Mom would use this when she heard something that she felt stirred us to take some action.  "Well, that was a call to arms!"
19) Good enough for the boys I go with.  This had absolutely nothing to do with dating or boys or anything.  It meant something was good enough for Mom.  It could be food, clothing, hairstyle, etc.
20) A fate worse than death.  A common idiom but Mom often employed it as a joke--for something not really worse than death but not desired.