It has been a good ride

Today, I was released from my calling as Young Women President in my LDS ward.  Since it was Fast Sunday, I took the opportunity to express certain thoughts that had percolated to the top of my brain since I was told last Sunday that I was being released and I have recorded it here.
 
The primary point I wanted to make was that I wanted to clarify something. When I accepted this calling and at other points during my two years and ten months in YW, I’ve said, “This isn’t a calling I would choose for myself.” While know what I meant by that, I don’t think others have understood.
When I initially got the call, I felt very weighted down under the responsibilities I had with my mother and with her estate in addition to church and family responsibilities. So to add the YW calling at that point was overwhelming to me. So, the first reason I would not have chosen that the YW president call for myself was because I already had so many pre-existing obligations. However, I’d also had a confirmation by God’s Spirit that I was to take the calling so I did and jumped in with my whole heart.


Another reason I wouldn’t have chosen the calling for me was that I was 31 before I got married so I’m a reformed old maid. At that time, I perceived the primary topics taught in YW to be marriage and dating. Who wants an old maid—even one who’s reformed--talking about marriage and dating to young impressionable girls? I’ve somehow avoided teaching about those topics for my whole tenure. In September, I was to give a lesson on Marriage and Dating. I suppose the Lord did not want to undertake the miracle it would have required.


Last of all, I have spent most of my adult life in singles wards (so wards without Primary and without Young Women and Young Men organization)  until I was married and then after that I’ve spent most of my life working in callings with the adults of the church. This Young Women calling seemed to be such a departure from that pattern and a departure from where I felt comfortable.
However, that phrase of “not choosing the calling for myself” should never be interpreted in any way that I disliked the youth or the Young Women program. It shouldn’t be interpreted that I wouldn’t try my best to do the calling once I accepted it or that I wouldn’t jump in whole-heartedly and try to do everything I knew to do to fulfill the calling. And it shouldn’t be interpreted that my initial feeling of intensely not wanting this calling would stay with me for all two years and ten month because it hasn’t been like that at all and I feel these negatives are the impressions my words have conveyed.


Once I got over the total shock of doing a calling I knew nothing about in a program I knew very little about, I have enjoyed the calling. I have especially enjoyed the association with the young women in the ward. I’ve enjoyed the mutual activities, even tubing down the Virgin River, the lessons, the personal progress activities, the girls’ camps, the youth conferences, and the teaching and the learning and the creative process in being a part of Young Women.
I’ve enjoyed the leaders I’ve served with in our ward and I’ve appreciated all their work. I’ve been grateful for the work of the athletics leader and girls’ camp leaders. And I’m grateful for all the people who have helped us with activities over the years. I’ve enjoyed working with good young men leaders.  I’ve been happy to work with the young men of the ward, including my own sons. I’ve enjoyed my associations with other youth and other young women leaders out beyond our ward boundaries.


When I was called, I had decided to set my sights on six years, like the tenure of the previous Young Women President, and just jump in and work. I really came to have my heart set on serving at least until my daughter graduates. Even though I know every calling comes with a future release date, because of that long-term perspective, this release seems premature . In fact, when the Primary presidency was released a few months ago, I rushed to the bishop’s counselor with whom I worked in Young Women and asked whether they were merely starting with the Primary and working through all of the auxiliaries or whether this was just a one-time deal, because I didn’t want to be released and they needed to leave me in YW for at least two more years. He assured me it was just a one-time deal. So much for bishopric assurances.  But then, the Lord moves in mysterious ways.


In 1977, there was an LDS-themed play referencing the plan of salvation called “My Turn on Earth” that depicted Barbara and four friend as they left the pre-earth life, lived in mortality and passed into the life after this.
Near the end of the play, a voice calls to Barbara that it is time for her life to be over:


“Bar--bara, it’s time to go hoommmee.”


She says in reply: “I don’t want to go. I mean I don’t want to go NOW. I’m not ready. My turn can’t be over yet. Have I done everything I’m supposed to do?”


The song that follows is entitled “I’m Not Ready” and has been on my mind this week. I’ve changed a few words:


[I’m Not Ready]
Is it over? Have I finished the [call]?
Have I [done] what I came here to [do]?
Just a few moments more,
I’m not ready to leave it all behind me.
I’m not ready. I don’t want to go
‘Til I know that I know I [am done].
I cannot bear to leave if I leave what I came for undone.
I’m not ready
[I’m not ready right now]
Won’t somebody show me [how things will be?]
I’m not ready
I [can’t believe it is] through
There are things I [would] do
There are still some things left I [would] say.
***


Then the voice calls:  “Barrrrbaraaaa, time to come hooommmeee!”


Barbara replies, “But I’m not rrreadddyyy!”


Then the final words, “Ready or nnnoottt. . . .”


So it is time for this calling to end.


If there is one message I would like to have the girls remember it is:  learn the language of the Spirit and live so the Spirit can be your constant companion to guide you at every step of your life.  The Spirit can be with you when are away from your leaders and parents.


I’m sure the new Young Women Presidency will take good care of the young women!


I’m thankful for the gospel and I’m thankful that God is mindful of each of us. I’m thankful for all the good things about this YW president calling.