More on my recent state of mind . . .

My cousin Tiffany took this picture of us at the graveside. I think it captures the moment well and I'm thankful she sent it to me. Initially, I copied the photo directly from email and it was huge. I said, "I do not know how to make the picture smaller but in a way it is fitting that it is so over-sized for the blog space--that is kind of how the whole passing of my mother is in my life anyway." However, I think I've fixed that problem but I felt like the sentiment was still valid--this has been an over-sized event in my life.

My sister chose the floral arrangement for the casket and I thought she did a wonderful job. It was not what you see everyday--the colors were oranges, yellows, rusts, creams, and that "family" of colors because it reminded her of the inside of Mom's house.

I can't believe it has been two weeks today since Mom passed away. It feels like both yesterday and long ago. Time seems to just be flying by all around me while I seem to be moving slowly forward, working on loose ends, with emphasis on the "slowly."

I feel I write one "thank you" note just to think of two others I should write. Today, I made calls to establishments about Mom's passing and I paid Mom's bills. I've paid them over and over again and, for some of them, today was the last time. It feels a bit disorienting and surreal for me.

Slowly I'm trying to reclaim my house from the chaos of the past few months. I'm slowly digging out from Christmas, although I'm still enjoying my Christmas trees--Christmas sped by too fast for me to enjoy them then.

I don't know that I'm very productive at my slow pace. I just try to keep moving or things are keeping me moving. I guess that is what happens when a person has a husband and children in the home and has commitments outside the home, too. There's always something or someone needing attention.

I'm enjoying the rain, probably because it makes me feel like staying home and puttering, which I would be doing anyway, but the rain somehow gives me some kind of justification.